Getting Old!

Happy Birthday… A simple 2 words that can burden your life or take it as a blessing for your life is prolonged. Well for your information I was just turning 32 yesterday (this is based on when I post this). It was always fun and happy to hear your friends and family give you present, wishes, silly jokes and prank since it’s your birthday. In my 32 years of living and when I blow the candle… I thought of my wishes in.

1. I wish I can get new challenge with a career change
2. I wish I can write a new book that change people live
3. I wish to travel the Europe this year
4. I find the “one” that I longed for >_<

is it just wishes, my hope in getting a change in life… but the truth is in real life, I think I’m not trying my best to get all of that, I’m not disciplined enough, I’m still wasting my time with unimportant stuff, wasting money on things I want and not based on what I need. And I’m afraid I waste my time with the wrong people.

I get this thoughts lately before turning 32.. is it I think too much whilst getting old… is it somewhat I’m getting  wise? Getting to come to my senses? What is this that I’m experiencing? I’m confused, the more I look for the answer I get lost in my own thought and sink deep with my future life version.

Wandering, lost in thoughts, and beginning to fear what future brings, I fear I will lost my loved ones, my parents, friends… all of that thoughts is really scary and saddening. I know I should spend my time and have a blast with them, but I keep thinking… will it be enough? Will it be enough the things I done for them?

I’m starting to get scared with Changes…. Is it common?

I never felt this before… is it really I’m getting old and sentimental? Or this is just some mellow episode in life?

Damn it… I think I’m getting old!